My Pronouns
·1 min
They/he for Hactar, he/him for Andrew
When I use the name Andrew, I prefer he/him pronouns for myself. They/them feels a little weird but it doesn’t bother me much.
When I use the name Hactar, it is usually in a context where no one has met me in-person so I prefer they/them pronouns. He/him isn’t wrong, but it is presumptious. Many of the communities I take part in are dominated by he/hims, but not everyone there is a he/him, and the assumption of he/himness perpetuates stereotypes that make it harder for non-he/hims to exist comfortably in these spaces. I want they/them to be the default in these online communities, so I encourage others to use they/them to refer to me unless they have seen some aspect of my in-person presentation that leads them to think of me as a he/him.